the early years of the firecracker

last night, after a long day of hilarious duties at work, i met up with two friends from highschool: ms. blair townsend and mr. matt klausmeier. it's been a while since i've been around people that knew me prior to three years ago (with a few exceptions). and it all felt so good. somehow (well i probably know how), i lost all those people in my life due to a number of circumstances. the familiarity and ease of coming back into character or the ability to speak out without fear of retribution fall into place gracefully and unnoticed. the conspiring, the secrets, the stories. i can't quite place my finger on it, but there is a comfort level there that has been missing. i suppose it lays in the idea that no matter where i go and how long it's been, i still have the kids in a cross-country crew who make up the lovers and fighters i have to be around. haha. there are moments when it grows so transparent that i am basically starting all over again. and like the exposure that comes with such moments, it is all very raw.

the firecracker is feeling contemplative.