Monday, August 23, 2010

two parts.

Initially, I just want to talk it to death. To let the words filled with faulty logic and wavering reason slip out of my mouth and pool on the floor. But, I know better. I kept scrolling back to what was said to let it hit me again and again. And you should know I want your name, at times, to reverberate inside of me, filling every inch of my being, every cell, every beat and breath. Because I know you.

The music plays on. Echoing in place of you. Moments when I realize that this song forever wraps us together. I shut my eyes in the dark, and so often see you.


I woke up today. And saw your message. And I worried about you. Pulled myself up, pulling that oversized shirt over my body and out the door. For a couple days, one thing and now another. How it all shifts. The day slowly passed, rain in sheets and sliding in rivulets down the windows, captivating until I catch myself drifting into thoughts yet again. I focus all my energy, closing my eyes, willing the distance to close, placing my hand on your shoulder, so you can still bravely face forward, but know that I am always there. Assuring myself that I am not being selfish in doing so. Even on the surface, I see your strength. In so many ways, you never needed me. And yet...I long to be there. Fiercely loyal. Just in case.


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